Although we cannot properly forgive others without understanding the concept of forgiveness and its importance, that intellectual knowledge is not, of course, forgiveness itself. 

​If we are to move from understanding forgiveness to granting it, we must move from the mind to the “heart” – from simply accepting the idea of forgiveness to embracing it and making it truly a part of us. In other words, we must move beyond an understanding of forgiveness to an attitude of forgiveness.

This is what Jesus meant when he warned that we will not be forgiven “…unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).  The Greek expression “from the heart” used in this verse and others (1 Peter 1:22) means exactly what it means in English: to truly and deeply forgive.  But how exactly do we know if we measure up to that standard – how do we know if we really are forgiving someone “from the heart”? 
 
The answer is relatively simple.  Jesus spoke of forgiveness “from the heart” in concluding his parable of the ungrateful servant who did not forgive others as his king forgave him, so his point was obviously that we must forgive as our King forgives us.  The Scriptures contain many verses showing the manner in which God forgives us – far too many to include here – but we will simply look at three examples from the Old Testament prophets.
 
The Book of Micah contains some wonderful words revealing God’s attitude in forgiving: “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy” (Micah 7:18, emphasis added).  This is the very opposite of reluctant forgiveness. We delight to do something we enjoy, that we love to do, and although humanly we may not look at forgiving as an enjoyable activity, this is exactly the attitude we need to have if we are to forgive from the heart.

The prophet Isaiah helps us to expand on this understanding: “let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon” (Isaiah 55:7 ESV, emphasis added). Other translations convey the word Isaiah used of God’s forgiveness with “freely,” “generously,” “richly,” and “bountifully.” This is clearly the opposite of forgiveness that is limited in any way. 

Another prophet, Hosea, recorded a prayer God commanded ancient Israel to pray that claims a specific attribute of God’s forgiveness:  “Take words with you and return to the Lord. Say to him: ‘Forgive all our sins and receive us graciously’…” (Hosea 14:2, emphasis added). God invites us to receive his gracious pardon and this is the opposite of grudging forgiveness. Humanly it is all too possible to reach “surface forgiveness,” but because it is not from the heart it is expressed ungraciously and sometimes even unkindly.  Hosea shows us that God does not do that, and if we want to forgive from the heart, neither must we.

These three passages only begin to cover the many ways in which God expresses his forgiveness, and it can make for an extensive and very profitable study to look at other examples found in the Scriptures.  Even without in-depth study of such verses, it is worthwhile to keep the principle in mind and look for the key descriptive word whenever we read biblical verses that speak of God forgiving or pardoning. 
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However, the three examples given above make the point.  God delights to forgive and he forgives abundantly and graciously. These qualities, and many more, show us what it means to “forgive from the heart.” Combined with Jesus’ statement in Matthew 18:35, they show that just as God himself forgives from the heart, he expects us to do no less!

* Excerpted from our new free e-book How to Forgive. You can download a copy here.

You may not know at this moment when you will need to exercise forgiveness, but you can be certain that sooner or later you will have to forgive someone for something. Perhaps right now there is an old hurt that you have never been able to completely forgive, or perhaps the necessity will not arise until tomorrow or next week, but whenever the need to forgive comes up or to prepare you for when it does, our latest free e-book is designed to help you.

Our new book, How to Forgive, looks at this vitally important subject from a practical perspective, showing what the Bible actually teaches about this topic and how we can best apply the guidance it gives us.  As with all our e-books, this new title is absolutely free and does not require any kind of registration or giving an email address. The book is available in three formats –  so you can download a copy to read on your computer, phone, kindle or other e-book reader. Simply click on the version you want on our sister website here.  ​​

It might seem strange to talk of putting a price on forgiveness, yet that is exactly what Jesus did in his parable* of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35).   In that parable Jesus painted a detailed word picture of a king’s servant who owed the ruler ten thousand “talents” (vs. 24).

A talent was not a unit of currency, but a unit of weight. The NIV translates this verse “ten thousand bags of gold,” but it is far more likely that silver would have been the precious metal involved in the transaction, as even ten thousand talents of silver would represent an almost unimaginably large amount.  In fact, ten thousand talents of silver would be too large to have normally been a personal debt.  The word “servant” Matthew uses could refer to a king’s high-ranking servant who had control of massive amounts of money as part of his work.

By contrast, the second servant in the parable who owed the king’s servant money was doubtless a far less powerful individual who had borrowed “one hundred denarii” (KJV “a hundred pennies,” NIV “a hundred silver coins”).  We read in the parable that the servant who owed a huge amount that was forgiven was himself unwilling to forgive the individual who owed him a much smaller debt.

To get a true sense of the relative amounts Jesus spoke of, notice that in another parable –  that of the men working in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16) –  Matthew specifically tells us that an acceptable rate of pay for a laboring man was one denarius per day (vs. 1, etc.).  So, the debt of the minor servant who owed the king’s servant 100 denarii was the equivalent of a hundred days pay – some four months of wages calculated on a regular workweek – and certainly not a small amount.

But to get a sense of the debt for which the king’s servant was responsible, we must realize that a “talent” was equal to approximately 6,000 denarii in value, so that debt equaled ten thousand times about six thousand days pay for an average laborer –  some 60 million days or 200 thousand years pay at 300 workdays per year – based on talents of silver, not gold.
  
So the price of the forgiveness given by the king to his servant in Christ’s parable was an astronomically high one –  far beyond the realm of any possibility of being repaid.  But it is easy to think that this parable was simply teaching that our neighbor’s spiritual debts to us are far less than what we “owe” God as a debt of forgiveness, but while that is true, the parable has greater depth than that.

Clearly, the king in the parable represents God, and the king’s servant represents us as debtors to God through our sin, while the minor servant represents those who are “indebted” to us through sins against us. But we should remember that the amount owed by the minor servant –  a hundred days’ pay –  was not a trivial amount. It is important to realize that Christ was not downplaying the “debts” or sins of others against us –  rather his parable admits that those who sin against us may indeed sin to a substantial degree, leaving us significantly hurt.
  
But the parable also puts that hurt in perspective by showing that the astronomically high debt we have incurred through our own cumulative sins far outweighs whatever sin may have been committed against us – no matter how bad it was.  As it is given in Christ’s example, the story shows a ratio of one million to one – the sins of others against us represent one millionth of our own sins against God.  That is why Jesus ended his parable by saying that the unmerciful servant was severely punished by the king, and   by saying “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (vs. 35).  
  
Ultimately, however, Jesus’ parable is not about numbers or balance sheets.  Its primary message, of course, is that we ought to forgive as our King has forgiven us. And we should not forget the context in which the parable was given.  Matthew makes it clear that Jesus told this story in response to Peter asking how many times we should forgive those who sin against us: “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king… (Matthew 18:21-23, emphasis added).

According to Jesus’ answer to Peter’s question, the forgiveness given to us is extravagant both in amount and in repetition, and finally it is extravagant in terms of the attitude with which the forgiveness is given.  True forgiveness, Jesus tells us, is so extravagant that it cannot be repaid; it is so extensive that it does not run out in our lifetime; and it is so truly meant from the heart that no price can really be placed on it. ​

*Download our free e-book on the Parables of Jesus from this website, here.

The Thanksgiving holiday we celebrate in the United States is one in which we celebrate and hopefully give thanks for the abundance we have been given.  The Autumn “season of mists and mellow fruitfulness” has “overbrimmed,” and we are conscious of the overflow of good things with which we have been blessed. 

A biblical verse often quoted in this context is that of the words of Christ regarding blessings: “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38).

Notice how four measures are used to describe the overflowing fullness of the blessings being spoken of:  Good measure – this is not a short-filling, but a filling to the brim. Pressed down – this is the first way we can get more into a container, by forcing even more in. Shaken together – we can also shake a container to make the contents settle to make room for more. Running over – finally, we can overfill till the container has an overflowing excess.

It would be hard to better describe the concept of the cornucopia – the horn of plenty spilling out abundant blessings that is so often used as a symbol of Thanksgiving! But let’s go back to the words of Jesus in the Gospel of Luke.  We should remind ourselves, of course, that Jesus spoke of being blessed to the extent we bless – gifted to the extent that we give.

But there is actually more to consider when we look at the preceding verse – which is less frequently quoted – and we grasp the whole context: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Luke 6:37-38).

Reading these verses together shows us that Christ’s words regarding overflowing blessings were set in the context of not judging, not condemning, and forgiving, as well as giving.  In each of these cases the overflowing aspect of what we are given applies.  Jesus’ words stress that we must be willing to “overflow” in our not judging or condemning others, and in our forgiving them (Matthew 18:21-22).

So what does forgiveness have to do with Thanksgiving season? God’s word shows us that with blessings come responsibilities; God’s gifts are freely and abundantly given, but they come with expectations.  Jesus’ words remind us that we will be blessed (there is nothing in his words indicating that he was not talking about both physical and spiritual blessings) as we bless, and we will be forgiven as we forgive. In a season in which we focus on thankfulness for the blessings we receive, we should perhaps also focus on the blessings we give – the gifts of not judging or condemning and actively forgiving.  And the blessings we give should be “good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.”

Our God is an abundantly generous God. In giving and in forgiving, may we strive to be the same.

When it comes to forgiving others as we know we should (Matthew 6:12), we sometimes need to remind ourselves of advice the apostle Paul gave to the Corinthian Christians.  The church at Corinth apparently included an individual who had caused some problems for the brethren in that city. 

We don’t know exactly what the problems were, but we do know that once the matter was sorted out, Paul reminded the other believers of an extra step in the process of forgiveness that we often overlook.

When we forgive someone who has done something against us, we often jump from the act of forgiving in our own mind (which is difficult enough) to trying to “forget” the incident as well as we can (which can be just as hard – see the blog post on our sister site: “What Forgiving and Forgetting Really Means”).  But this jump overlooks a part of the process that Paul chose to stress. Notice what he told the Corinthian church regarding the one from whom they had become alienated: 

“If anyone has caused grief…The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Corinthians 2:5-8).

Notice that Paul immediately follows the admonition to forgive the individual with one to “comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.”  This clearly indicates that the individual was already sorry for whatever it was he had done and Paul seeks to limit or to end the ongoing sorrow. But Paul doubly stresses this admonition to accept the forgiven individual by telling them to “reaffirm your love for him.” 

Forgiving someone a serious hurt can be difficult enough, and  we sometimes are tempted to feel satisfied if we do reach a point of sincere forgiveness. But Paul shows we must resist the temptation to then continue in a kind of hurt distancing of ourselves from the individual forgiven. The apostle shows that if the person does respond to our forgiveness, it is then our responsibility to reestablish an accepting relationship.

We can also see in Paul's following words that he meant this important principle as a firm admonition for us rather than just something he was offering as good advice:  “For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything” (2 Corinthians 2:9 ESV). Paul clearly equated his readers’ acceptance of this principle of reconciliation after forgiveness with spiritual obedience. 

Being as conscious as he was of his own need for God’s forgiveness and acceptance (Acts 9:4) (1 Timothy 1:15-16), Paul probably understood as well as anyone that the second step of forgiveness is just as important as the first. Having himself been fully accepted by Christ after his persecution of the Church, Paul reminds us that forgiveness without acceptance is meaningless and hollow. Only as forgiveness is followed by acceptance is it truly full forgiveness, and that acceptance in turn makes the final step of forgetting the incident, where possible, that much easier. 

All four Gospels tell a story of a woman who anointed Jesus with expensive perfume, but the accounts differ, and it is usually presumed that they are based on two events – with two different women anointing Jesus on different occasions, one in the home of Simon the Leper in Bethany and the other in the home of a Pharisee named Simon.

But a careful comparison of the stories reveals a clearer picture – and carries an important lesson. The accounts of Matthew, Mark  and John are often thought to reflect an occasion regarding Mary, the sister of Martha (John 11:2), and the account in Luke to reflect  another incident regarding a different woman who had lived a sinful life.  But all the apparent differences between the stories can be easily reconciled. For example,  Mathew and Mark say the woman anointed Jesus’ head, the other gospels say his feet were anointed. But the woman may well have anointed Christ’s head and feet – recorded differently according to the stress the individual Gospel writers had in mind (i.e., the head for a kingly anointing, or an anointing for burial).

 It would be a strange coincidence if two women had both anointed Jesus with the same kind of expensive perfume and wiped his feet with their hair.  If they were different women, why did the Gospel writers not differentiate them in some way?  On the other hand, that Mary sister of Martha was the one woman who anointed Christ may perhaps be seen earlier in John’s account where he tells us: “(This Mary… was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.)” (John 11:2) – saying “the same one who” rather than “one of the women who.” It would also be strange if not one of the four gospel writers recorded both events, if two similar events had occurred.  This is especially true considering Jesus’ words in Mark 14:9: “Truly I tell you, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Would Christ have put so much emphasis on this event if it was the second instance of two virtually identical cases?  If this had been done by two different women, surely both would be clearly recorded.

That the various accounts regarding the woman who anointed Christ’s feet involve the same event has another aspect to it. Luke’s account says the event occurred in the home of a Pharisee named Simon, the others say it was in the home of Simon the Leper in Bethany. But Simon the Leper and Simon the Pharisee were probably one and the same.  A leper could never have hosted a dinner nor have partaken in one with other people – Simon the Leper must have been healed and could thus have been the same as Simon the Pharisee.  Simon may well have been referred to as “the Pharisee” in Luke because Luke stresses Jesus’ reply to Simon’s pharisaical and self-righteous attitude, while the other Gospels remember him as Simon the Leper.

Why does this matter?  If Simon the Leper and Simon the Pharisee are one and the same, then Jesus’ words to this man take on far greater meaning. Commentaries on  Luke: 7:36-50 usually stress the fact that Jesus pointed out to the Pharisee that he had not welcomed Jesus as the woman did, but we should notice the context, and what Jesus actually stresses before he continued to make a comparison between the woman and Simon:

“Jesus answered him, ‘Simon, I have something to tell you.’ ‘Tell me, teacher,’ he said.  ‘Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?’  Simon replied, ‘I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.’ ‘You have judged correctly,’ Jesus said” (Luke 7:40-43).

Why did Jesus talk to the Pharisee about gratitude for forgiveness?  Notice Christ said two people had been forgiven, one of much, one of less – and made the point that the one forgiven more, loved more. If Simon the Pharisee had been forgiven sins and healed of leprosy by Jesus, this part of the story makes perfect sense. Simon is the one forgiven a smaller amount, Mary the one forgiven a greater amount, but who then loved more. 

But Jesus’ comment to the Pharisee cuts to the heart of any self-righteous understanding of forgiveness. In speaking to the Pharisee as Jesus did, he showed the man the hypocrisy of accepting forgiveness and still looking askance at others as sinners.  Jesus’ words showed not only that those forgiven more, love more – and may show much more gratitude – but also that those of us forgiven anything are in no position to judge others self-righteously, no matter how much they may have sinned. To look at God’s forgiveness in any other way, Jesus shows us, is to walk in the shoes of someone blind to their own self-righteousness.  It is to walk in the shoes of a Pharisee.

We are especially pleased, this week, to carry an extract from the fine new book God’s Love Letter: Reflections on 1 John by Will Vaus.  The short extract is on the Apostle John's message to the early Church regarding forgiveness, knowledge and strength.  You can read the extract here and the book is available on the author's website.