Asking and giving may seem like polar opposites to us, but when it comes to asking for something from God, or even giving something to Him, these actions have something in common in that they involve our relationship with our neighbor.  

Two verses in the New Testament show this fact. It’s easy to see one of them and then to think the other is just a parallel account or a slight variation, but the two verses make two distinct statements:

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).

“… if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift”  (Matthew 5:23-24).

Notice that these situations are not the same at all.  Mark 11 speaks of occasions when we are asking something from God – specifically forgiveness in this case – and shows us that we cannot receive this from God (and perhaps anything) if we ourselves are not willing to give forgiveness.   In Matthew 5, the occasion is one in which we wish to give something to God, but he makes it clear that he will not accept the gift (perhaps any gift) if we know others have something against us and we are not willing to accomplish reconciliation.

Taken together, these verses show how important right relationships with our neighbors are for a right relationship with God.  In both these cases,  God does not want to accept something - a request or a gift - from someone who is estranged from another, who is holding back something from another, whether we are holding back forgiveness or reconciliation. 

In the case of our forgiving others, nothing must stop us doing this, though God understands that in situations where others have something against us we can only do our best to reconcile with them. Sometimes, others are not going to accept our attempts  at reconciliation and there is nothing we can do about that, other than to pray for them. 

Normally, however,  in our relationship with God, whether we are asking or giving, if we hold back from our neighbor, God holds back from us. On the other hand, if we are giving forgiveness and attempting reconciliation where it is possible,  God does not hold back from us in accepting  that which we are asking or giving. ​

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.

​If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! ‘No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money’” (Matthew 6:22-24).

This quotation of Jesus, found in Matthew 6 and also in Luke 11:34, is a fascinating one, as it has been interpreted so many different ways.  While the NIV has “if your eyes are healthy” and “if your eyes are unhealthy,” other translations refer to the eyes as being “good” and “bad” or “single” and “evil,” and in various other ways.
  
Some of the confusion is understandable. The word translated “healthy” in the NIV makes sense as something we might say about an eye, but the word can also be translated as “single” – that is its usual literal meaning.  Some have argued that this fits the context in which Jesus is talking about having a single master (vs. 24), but that meaning does not really fit the rest of the passage.

However, there is another possibility we should consider.  The Greek word for “healthy” in Matthew 6:22 can imply “generous,” and the word used in verse 23 for “unhealthy” can imply “stingy.”  These meanings may seem out of place at first, until we realize that the context of Christ’s statement about our eyes in Matthew 6 is actualy one of money, possessions and treasures.   Directly before his statement about the eyes, beginning in verse 19, Jesus instructed his followers to put more value on heavenly treasure than treasure on earth.  Directly after what he says about the eyes, beginning in verse 24, he tells us that we cannot serve two masters and that we will end up either loving God or money (“mammon” – as in the KJV – is an Aramaic word for money or other possessions), as we cannot serve and love both.

When we keep this immediate context in mind, what Jesus says about our eyes may well be meant to be understood as referring to a having a “generous” outlook as opposed to a “stingy” outlook.  If his comment was made with those meanings, then there is no conflict between the first and second part of his statement; it fits perfectly within the overall theme of putting our religious desires and priorities before our desires for physical possessions and wealth.   We should, Jesus tells us, be more concerned about saving treasure in heaven than stingily being unwilling to share what we have on Earth.
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Of the various translations of Matthew 6:22-24 that are possible, although one which sees the reference to our eyes as being either “generous” or “stingy” may seem strange at first, these meanings fit the usage of the Greek and fit the context of what Jesus was talking about perfectly.  But in any case, our responsibility as followers of Jesus is to maintain the kind of priorities that enable us to look at others not stingily, but with a “generous eye.” 

​“…  let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
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“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:1).
 
Although these scriptures might seem to conflict at first sight, we should remember that they record two things said on the same occasion by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. So it is unlikely that they really contradict each other.  As is so often the case, we simply need to look at the context of each scripture.
 
In Matthew 5:16 Jesus’ words were part of an analogy he made of the disciple as reflecting God’s light in a darkened world: 

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

In this analogy we see that it is the “light” of God’s way that shines in our lives if we are walking according to his will. Notice that people seeing this “light” would glorify not us, but God (vs. 16).

Matthew 6:1, however, records words spoken in a totally different context:

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:1-4).

In this case, Jesus was talking about the manner in which we give to others – that we should give discreetly and not for show or personal credit.  So the two scriptures have totally different contexts.   Matthew 5:16 is talking about the importance of good works in our lives, and Matthew 6:1 stresses that we must have a right motivation for our good works.   This means that while we are called to be a light to the world, clearly showing God’s way in our lives, our good works must always be done from a motivation of love and concern for others – not through any selfish motivation such as “looking good” or to appear “religious” or “spiritual.” 
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While Matthew 5:16 talks about how we appear to others, Matthew 6:1 deals with how we appear to God.

Although many give gifts to each other at this time of year, supposedly in honor of the gifts the Magi or “wise men” gave to Jesus, perhaps we can find a timely reminder in that story of the focus of those individuals who gave gifts to Christ.

Although we don’t know how many wise men brought gifts to the young Jesus (it’s only tradition that there were three of them), or where they came from (other than “the East”), or even when they came (the New Testament shows it could have been up to two years after the actual birth of Jesus when they arrived at the house in which his family was living),  the one thing we do know for sure is what the gifts were that they gave to the young Jesus: “On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh” (Matthew 2:11).

The three types of gift (the origin of the tradition that there were three wise men) were all illustrious ones, and perhaps the most expensive, by weight, that could be given in that ancient culture. It’s easy to understand that gold was considered a gift fit for kings. Frankincense was an expensive fragrance used in the making of incense offered in the temple (Leviticus 2:1-2) and was thus a fitting gift to be given to a priest (Hebrews 4:14-16). Myrrh was another expensive fragrance which was often used in embalming the dead – as it was for Jesus (John 19:39-40). In that sense it was a fitting gift to one destined to die for humankind. Whether these symbolic aspects were realized by the wise men or not, the three gifts were all certainly appropriate for the king and priest who was born to die.

Although those physical gifts are not ones that we can give directly, the New Testament does show that just as the gold, frankincense and myrrh had symbolic associations, if we choose, we too can offer things in our own lives that are associated with the same gifts. 

Faith: 1 Peter 1:7 tells us: “These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Rather than  gold, we can give the better gift of faith.

Relationship with God: The book of Revelation refers to the prayers of the saints as fragrant incense before God: “Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people, on the golden altar in front of the throne” (Revelation 8:3-4). The incense offered to God on the heavenly altar is directly associated with the prayers that we can offer.

Relationship with others:  2 Corinthians 2:14-16 says, "But thanks be to God, who… uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life.” Just as the pleasing fragrance of myrrh could be used in contexts of life and death, our walk before others can be a pleasing fragrance to those who can appreciate it. 

So we can give, if we so choose, the symbolic equivalents of the gifts the wise men gave to Christ. If we let it, the story of their gift-giving can inspire us to develop, through God’s grace, our underlying faith, our relationship with God Himself, and our relationship with others. Even those of us who might feel we have little to give, can give even better gifts – that may please the Son of God even more – than the gifts the wise men gave. 

There are so many needs in the world, and the needs are often so great that it can discourage us from trying to help; but God’s word makes it clear that it is a responsibility we should all consider: “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?” (1 John 3:17). 

Of course, this does not mean we should be swayed by every request for a handout when there is no real indication of need, but even when we want to help where the need is real, finding the charities that do the most good is not always easy. Some charities spend great amounts on overheads and salaries while others may support good, but hardly vital, causes.  Yet there are many charities that do accomplish a great deal. How to find them?  If we focus on the relief of life-threatening and dire needs, there are three main areas in which we can help:  

Disaster:  Several charities do good work in this area, but some have high overhead costs. A safe and great way to help in this area is through established disaster relief funds  such as the International Red Cross or various church charities that send aid to countries around the world to help with transient but devastating disasters such as floods, earthquakes, landslides, tornadoes and tsunamis.

Hunger:  Some well-known charities like Action Against Hunger do very good work, but this is an area in which it pays to be especially careful.  Some of the charities in this group also use funds for tangential causes. Check their websites carefully before selecting a charity to help.

Medical Need:   There are charities for many medical needs – all of them worthy causes – but the ones which can potentially save lives as well as bring relief from suffering are surely especially deserving.  For example, cleft repair charities provide cleft lip and palette surgeries to children around the world enabling them to properly eat and drink, to be free of a great disfigurement, and to lead normal lives. There are several charities doing great work in this area, the largest of which is “Smile Train,” rated by the New York Times as “one of the best charities, dollar for dollar.”

If you are unsure about a given charity, or in any event before contributing to one, consider checking it out on one of the online charity monitoring organizations (for example, www.Charitynavigator.org) to see what percentage of funds received actually reaches the intended destination.

Even small contributions can help well-run charities, and strong currencies such as the US dollar  go a long way in Third World countries where the needs are often greatest. So never think that a small amount will not accomplish anything.  Jesus’ comment on the widow’s mite (Mark 12:41-44, Luke 21:1-4) shows the importance of even the smallest gift. We may have no idea of how much someone may be helped by our support, but when the need is great, even a small gift can be a great help.

It often seems that the greater the sacrifice involved in what we give to God, the more God uses the gift and the greater good He brings from it.  If this sounds radical or merely speculative, consider examples ranging from the widow’s mite (Luke 21:1-5) to the sacrifice of Jesus Himself (Hebrews 9:28), and consider the story of Hannah.

Hannah was one of the two wives of the Israelite Elkanah, a woman whose story is a lasting testimony to sacrifice and blessing (1 Samuel 1-2).  Although she was loved by her husband, Hannah was childless and was tormented by her co-wife, Peninnah, who had borne children to him.  Every year Elkanah went up to the sanctuary at Shiloh to offer sacrifices, and it was on one of these occasions that Hannah went into the sanctuary and prayed before God while the High Priest, Eli, was sitting nearby.  In her anguish Hannah prayed silently yet fervently for a son, promising that she would give the child back to God, as a lifelong servant, if He would answer her prayer (1 Samuel 1:10-11). Such was the fervor of Hannah’s prayer that Eli thought she was drunk and rebuked her, only to change his correction to a blessing when he realized the truth of the situation.

As 1 Samuel shows, God heard Hannah’s prayer and blessed her with a son; but true to her word, after she had weaned the young boy, she returned to Shiloh and presented him to Eli for the service of God.  Notice Hannah’s words: “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord…” (1 Samuel 1:27-28).  But a more literal translation of the last part of this passage might be as follows: “I also have given back what was asked [i.e., prayed for] to God …”  The more literal translation puts focus on the fact that Hannah had given back a gift from God – which meant a great deal to her – and returned the gift to God, despite the fact that it was doubtless a great emotional sacrifice. 

We see two things regarding this returning a gift to God in the story of Hannah.  First, that God often blesses those who give back His gifts to Him even more than before.  After sacrificing her beloved only son to God’s service, God blessed Hannah with more children (1 Samuel 2:21) and, doubtless, happiness.  The other lesson we learn from the story of Hannah is that God often uses the gifts which are true sacrifices in very powerful ways.  Of course, Hannah’s son Samuel grew to be one of the greatest prophets of ancient Israel and God’s leading servant in that time.  We see this pattern in the lives of a number of biblical figures – that those who are dedicated to God and sacrificed to His purpose perform great deeds, as we see repeatedly in the lives of individuals such as Samuel and Samson and in no less a person than Jesus Himself:  the greater the sacrifice, the greater that which is accomplished through it.

God’s word shows that He does honor the sacrifice of what He gives; just as He honored the sacrifice of Hannah’s only son, God honors what we sacrifice and give back to Him, also.  We have all received gifts from God (James 1:17), and if we are willing to give some of them back, God will not only bless us, but also will often use those gifts to an extent we might not even expect.